Rambling Incohertently.....

I'm indignant. I need to escape but i have made a pledge to myself, I will not self medicate, I will stand up and deal with life as it happens. I just need to get through this night. Tomorrow is a new day. My mind reels and my skin itches. The banging in my head is deafening. I'd scream if I had a voice. Reason keeps tugging at my brain and makes me dizzy. Someone needs to take the riens and guide me. Left to my own devices, I could end up anywhere. My emotions run so deep and intense that I tremble. Here I am in my private oasis, I should feel blissful and yet I'm full of frustration. Where's that light at the end of this very long tunnel? At times like this I feel I could go mad. Does everyone struggle like this? Am I being soft? Playing the victim? I'd hate to think I was. I wouldn't feel any better if I had a choir behind me singing my blues. I'm apprehensive. I fear losing all the ground I've gained. I guess sometimes I just get tired of being strong.