Darker dayz

It's happening, the day has come when my daughter recieves birthday wishes and cheques in the mail from her relatives. I am estranged from all that is familiar. I share history with no one. All those who have owned portions of my heart are scattered and lost. My life is rich and full in my own personal world, the one only I live in. Out here with the rest I am cold, miserably misunderstood and fighting to stay awake. I wonder if only the melancholy contemplate life so thouroughly. I wonder if anyone hears our sad tunes in the night. i wonder if those distant souls that I can still feel, feel me too? Routine calls me back and I must paint on my smiles and turn the artificial light on in my eyes. I know I am good at that if nothing else.